Saturday mornings are a time to remind myself to breathe. Isn't it strange to think that our bodies just do what's needed but when we remind ourselves to do what our body already does, it creates a sense of control?
I was chatting with one of the store owners where I have a space recently and although I don't remember the exact words, I recall the topic. We both agreed that we love living in a bubble; building and creating all that we have control over and are also open to new ideals, enjoy a diversity of culture, and can see from different perspectives given the opportunity. We have capacity for complexity in adulthood, and what an honor.
There are times when the lines are blurred, typically when stress is rising. One of the ways that I'm able to calm myself enought to alter or expand my perspective to open up space and change my mind for the purpose of solution, is forest bathing. The forest teaches me so much every single time. I don't know if it's a increase in oxygen, the calming sway of the trees, the way the roots connecting underground reminds me of the strength of community, or the combination of it all. It brings me peace in a way that can only be felt and not fully explained.
Parenting is a similar feeling. I recall thinking and committing to all the ways I would or would not parent before becoming a parent, which now seems irrelevant. The one commitment I made that holds true is the protection of my children. As a parent, there isn't anything I wouldn't do within my control to keep my children safe. In our nightly routine, my daughter and I were chatting as we typically do before bedtime. It was after we had had people from our neighborhood over for a gathering. She asked me about my family and why we don't spend time with them. Anyone who knows me well, knows this is a loaded question. There are many complicated answers and most that my 10 year old is not ready for, not because she can't handle the truth, but because I don't want her to have to hold it. The conversation ended with me saying to her, "Please trust that everything that I do, even when I can't you the details, is to keep you safe."
A parent/child relationship is special and challenging for so many reasons. The importance of raising children is not professional but requires leadership in a way that allows for autonomy and also restrictions without explanation. For me, I have found that identifying core values and measuring up to the intentions of priorities has been crucial.
We all have stories and we all have traumas. If we have been on this earth for any length of time, we experienced hardship and if you haven't yet, just wait. The real trouble happens when we don't have people and community in our lives that can scaffold us when we fall. Hold us in our pain. Of course, we don't want to live in misery and wallow in doubt and hopelessness too long, but we need community in our lives to lift us back up from tragedy and reciprocate the gesture.
Finding a community, if it wasn't built in from the beginning can be difficult. Leaving what's built in to create a new, can be even more challenging. The bravery however in finding where you belong when you may not have all the information yet, will be the story that brings to light resilience and grit.
Key topics this week, as you've also probably experiences, have been vastly varied, from friendship, professional, parenting, and marriage. The balance of it all, the boundaries and the deciphering between and separating always feels like a lot to think about. I conclude that we all have dreams, life goals, and aspirations. We all have a journey waiting for us to take flight. Whether we are career focused, in the thick of at home parenting, learning a new language, or just trying to keep our head above water to feed our family, we are on this earth for a reason. What's yours?
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